My Almost Constant Fear
On a recent trip to a local restaurant with Diane's family there took place a very brief discussion about the fear of dropping your car keys down a sewer drain. This isn't a fear I've ever actually acknowledged myself, but all of them seemed to agree that a certain amount of terror slips through their bones while crossing over sewer grates, keys in hand.
I attempted in vain to find a name for this particular phobia on the internet, and while there are several references to people having a generalized fear of sewer grates, (I think anyone who has seen 'It' could understand why) I couldn't find any specific references to the fear of losing your keys down a storm drain. Does this mean I get to name the phobia? That's a lot of pressure.
And this got me thinking. Are there other fears and/or concerns I myself experience that could be classified as phobias?
Personally, I have a fear of dropping things in the toilet. I have to practically empty my pockets on the edge of the sink before I can bring myself to lift the lid and unbuckle my pants. I'm especially aware of my checkbook, which I generally keep in my back pocket - I'm so certain that it's going to flip out and land right in the middle of the toilet. I've taken to removing my checkbook from my pocket as soon as I enter any bathroom. I'm sure this must make for an odd scene when I go into any public restroom.
"Did you see that guy just going in to the bathroom? He pulled his checkbook out."
"Huh. I wonder What that's about?"
"Maybe that's where he meets his bookie."
And while we're on the subject of toilets: First of all, I rarely use a public restroom for anything other than urination. I will hold it for hours before I will lower my rear onto a public toilet seat. Unfortunately, there have been times when circumstances would not allow me to return home to take care of business, and I'd have to make do. There's nothing more distressing than trying like heck to, how can I put this, shit gently, so as to avoid the resultant splash of foreign water all over your exposed bottom, and receiving it anyway. It's like the toilets in all mall bathrooms (and Best Buys) are specifically designed to maximize splash back potential. Highly distressing.
So anyway, that's three new phobias for the books:
The fear of losing your keys down a storm drain.
The fear of dropping important items in the toilet.
and The fear of toilet water splashing your rear end while defecating.
I attempted in vain to find a name for this particular phobia on the internet, and while there are several references to people having a generalized fear of sewer grates, (I think anyone who has seen 'It' could understand why) I couldn't find any specific references to the fear of losing your keys down a storm drain. Does this mean I get to name the phobia? That's a lot of pressure.
And this got me thinking. Are there other fears and/or concerns I myself experience that could be classified as phobias?
Personally, I have a fear of dropping things in the toilet. I have to practically empty my pockets on the edge of the sink before I can bring myself to lift the lid and unbuckle my pants. I'm especially aware of my checkbook, which I generally keep in my back pocket - I'm so certain that it's going to flip out and land right in the middle of the toilet. I've taken to removing my checkbook from my pocket as soon as I enter any bathroom. I'm sure this must make for an odd scene when I go into any public restroom.
"Did you see that guy just going in to the bathroom? He pulled his checkbook out."
"Huh. I wonder What that's about?"
"Maybe that's where he meets his bookie."
And while we're on the subject of toilets: First of all, I rarely use a public restroom for anything other than urination. I will hold it for hours before I will lower my rear onto a public toilet seat. Unfortunately, there have been times when circumstances would not allow me to return home to take care of business, and I'd have to make do. There's nothing more distressing than trying like heck to, how can I put this, shit gently, so as to avoid the resultant splash of foreign water all over your exposed bottom, and receiving it anyway. It's like the toilets in all mall bathrooms (and Best Buys) are specifically designed to maximize splash back potential. Highly distressing.
So anyway, that's three new phobias for the books:
The fear of losing your keys down a storm drain.
The fear of dropping important items in the toilet.
and The fear of toilet water splashing your rear end while defecating.
