CD Cleanup: Review #3

Arsenals - Stomp (1995)

I made it through this disc about 3 times yesterday. That was enough.
Stomp was a completely average - below average, actually - 3rd wave Ska album, in a sea of better, and more polished Ska albums to come out in the mid to late '90s.

There are no great songs on the album. There's nothing on here that you'll find yourself humming in the shower. The two "just alright" songs on the disc, 'Beer,' and 'Hypocrite' barely register before you're assaulted by the absolute worst cover, ever, of Steve Miller's 'Joker.' It's bad. It's beyond bad. It's "take the CD out of the player and throw it away" bad. To make matters worse, there's a dub version of the song at the end of the CD, which is mercifully without lyrics, but still painful in its reminder of the abomination that occurred seven or eight tracks ago.

2/10

CD Cleanup: Review #2

The Aquabats - vs. The Floating Eye of Death (1999)

When I first purchased this album ten years ago, I hated it. Well, maybe I didn't hate it, but I certainly didn't like it. It was too much of a departure from their previous album, The Fury of the Aquabats, which I loved. While Fury was a more traditional 3rd-wave Ska album, Floating Eye was more of a synth-based Rock album. Apparently not my thing at the time.

But now, I love it.

On the appointed day I listened to the album three times from start to finish, and really enjoyed most of it. In fact, I liked it so much that instead of writing this, and moving on to the next CD, I listened to The Aquabats vs. The Floating Eye of Death for three more days. All said and done, I've gone all the way through it probably a dozen times, with specific songs getting skipped to, and repeated.

There is something to like about every song, especially on a first listen. Most of the songs are pretty catchy, and all of them have some creative, clever, and humorous lyrics. The shining star of the album for me is 'The Ballad of Mr. Bonkers' which is just a fantastic, fantastic song. Other good ones include, 'Giant Robot Bird-Head,' 'Anti-Matter,' & 'The Thing on the Bass Amp.'

I did find that after a couple of times through the CD that there were a handful of songs that I didn't enjoy as much, and I'd skip them to get to the good ones. The skippers: 'Sequence Erase' (which is unfortunate, as it's the first song on the album), 'Monsters Wedding' & the unintelligible 'The Man with Glooey Hands.'

All in all, it's a fantastic Rock album, even if it's not the Ska album I was looking for when I bought it.

8/10

CD Cleanup: Review #1

I decided recently that I have too many CDs that I don't listen to, (who am I kidding? I don't listen to CDs anymore!) and I ought to get rid of some of them.

Rapidly on the heels of that thought came another: Set an arbitrary number of CDs to keep or get rid of, listen to every single CD all the way through, at least once, and then get rid of the ones that don't cut the mustard.

That said, the number I arrived at wasn't so much a number as much as however many I have to get rid of to get the remaining CDs to fit into my CD tower.

Now, I don't have a huge number of CDs - probably a miniscule collection compared to a lot of people - I know at least one friend who has a collection of over 5000 CDs. I'm in the sub 500 range - I'm not sure exactly how many I have.

So, armed with a plan, I'm going to be talking about some (most? all?) of the CDs as I listen to them, working my way through the collection.

First up:
Apollo Four Forty - Gettin' High on Your Own Supply (1999)

I listened to the album 2.75 times today - on my way to work, from work, and during my lunch.
I bought this while I was in my 'techno' phase, back in '99. The album is just alright, with a couple of noteworthy songs - Stop the Rock, Heart Go Boom, & Stadium Parking Lot - but on the whole it's pretty forgettable techno-pop-rock audio-mud. Lots of drum and bass with odd squeals and whistles. Honestly, I don't know why I liked techno so much in 1999.
I'm going to give this album a 5 out of a possible 10.
(That's a good place to start, I think - lots of room for better, and worse albums!)

Lara Croft: Through the Ages

A recent discussion with friends about the various Tomb Raider games led me to contemplate how much Lara Croft has changed over the years.


Tomb Raider.


Tomb Raider 2.


Tomb Raider 3.


Tomb Raider: Revelations.


Tomb Raider: Chronicles


Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness


Tomb Raider: Legend


Tomb Raider: Anniversary


Tomb Raider: Underworld

I'm working my way through Underworld right now and I have to say that despite a few minor quibbles, I'm enjoying the game a great deal.

My Mother Experiments with Setting Her Gmail Status

I signed into Gmail this morning and noticed that my mother was also signed in.
Then I also noticed that not only was she signed in, she had changed her status, something she's never done before. Then I noticed that not only had she changed her status, her status was a message directed at me, using an embarrassing childhood nickname, which I am about to courageously share with the intarwebnets.



Thanks, Mom. I love you too.

For the record, if you're not my mother, you are not allowed to call me 'Juicy.' 'Juice,' maybe, but never 'Juicy.'

'J-Train' is also acceptable.

My Favorite Use of the Word: Plethora

Jefe: I have put many beautiful pinatas in the storeroom, each of them filled with little suprises.
El Guapo: Many pinatas?
Jefe: Oh yes, many!
El Guapo: Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?
Jefe: A what?
El Guapo: A *plethora*.
Jefe: Oh yes, you have a plethora.
El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?
Jefe: Why, El Guapo?
El Guapo: Well, you told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.
Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

Part 2?

I woke up on the wrong side of the universe.

Have you ever spent the night somewhere, a friend's house, or hotel or something, and woken up in the middle of the night to that frantic, “Where-the-fuck-am-I?” panic attack? It's like that, only about a billion times worse. Somehow your body knows. It's weird, but somehow you just know that you're farther away from your birthplace than any person was ever meant to be. That's a tough pill to swallow at whatever passes for 4am around here.

Angry Smurf... Stephen, I reminded myself, did little to make the situation any better.

“Are you going to vomit, Human?” He snapped on a bright overhead light as I sat up.

“Am I? I don't feel si...”

I threw up all over floor.

While Stephen cursed in a language I didn't understand and waved his weapon about in my face, I slowly eased back down to a prone position, suddenly feeling very much like a prune remembering what life was like as a plum.

Stephen's partner, the Human-looking fellow whose name I didn't know, lumbered in.

“Give it a rest, eh Stephen? Can't you see the bloke's in pain?” he said in a passable cockney. He glanced at the mess on the floor. “Thank heavens for artificial gravity. That would have been quite a mess.”

“Are you British now?” I asked, still squeezing my eyes shut.

“Well, not really British, obviously. But I do like to practise every now and again.”

“It's very nice.” I opened my eyes. The light hurt, but the pain was seeping away.

“Thank you.” He beamed.

Stephen fiddled with a setting on his gun and seared away the mess I'd made on the floor. It left an unpleasant odor in the air, but the vomit was gone.

“Get up, Human. There is much to be done.”

I swung my feet down and sat up again.

“Are you guys going to tell me what this is all about?” I asked.

“No.” Stephen stuffed his laser-gun-thing into some sort of holster and left the room, clearly expecting me and the other alien to follow him.

“My name is Basil,” he said to me suddenly.

“Is it?”

“It is today, old chap. It is today.” He grinned and strode after Stephen.

“Lead the way, Basil,” I said.